I AM THANKFUL:
FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 
FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS. 
FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.
FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.
FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS. 
FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.
FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE.
FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT
NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.
FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH. 
FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.
FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.
FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY < BR>BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR. 
FOR THE PILE OF
LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR. 
FOR WEARINESS AND
AC HING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD. 
FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE
EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE. 
Live well, Laugh often,
& Love with all of your heart! 
Your Heart is your Love,
Your love is your Family ,
Your family is your Future ,
Your future is your Destiny ,
Your destiny is your Ambition,
Your ambition is your Aspiration ,
Your aspiration is your Motivation ,
Your motivation is your Belief ,
Your belief is your Peace ,
Your peace is your Target ,
Your target is Heaven,
Heaven is no fun without FRIENDS! 
F - Few
R - Relations
I - In
E - Earth
N - Never
D - Die
(၁)
(က)
အိမ္ေထာင္က်စ
မ။......... ။ တင္းေနေအာင္ ဖက္မထားနဲ႔ေလေမာင္.. မ အသက္႐ႈလို႔ မဝေတာ့ဘူး။
ေမာင္။... ။ ဖက္မထားရင္ ေမာင္အိပ္မေပ်ာ္လို႔ပါ မရယ္။
ႏွစ္အတန္ၾကာေသာ္
မ။......... ။ ေမာင္အိပ္ရင္ မကို ဖက္မအိပ္တာၾကာျပီေနာ္။
ေမာင္။...။။ ဖက္ျပီးအိပ္ရင္ အသက္႐ႈလို႔ မဝဘူးဆိုတာ မသိဘူးလား။
(ခ)
ခ်စ္သူဘဝ
လူစည္ကားရာ ေနရာတစ္ခုတြင္ ေမာင္က မကို ေပြ႔ဖက္လိုက္သည္။
မ။....... ။ ေမာင္ ႐ူးေနလား? လူေတြၾကည့္ေနတယ္ေလ.. ႐ွက္စရာၾကီး
ေမာင္။..။ ၾကည့္ၾကည့္ေပါ့ မရယ္။ ေမာင္က ခ်စ္တာကို
အိမ္ေထာင္က်ျပီးေနာက္
မ။.....။ အရင္က ဒီေနရာမွာ မ့ကို ေမာင္ ေပြ႔ဖက္ဖူးတယ္ေနာ္။ ခုဖက္ပါအုန္းလား ေမာင္
ေမာင္။.... ။ လူေတြေရွ႕မွာ ဖက္ရေအာင္ ရူးေနလား?
(ဂ)
အိမ္ေထာင္က်စ
မ။..... ။ ေမာင္ေရ မကို ေပြ႔ပါအုန္း
ေမာင္က မကို ေပြ႔ျပီး ကုတင္ေပၚ တင္ေပးလိုက္တယ္။
ႏွစ္အနည္းငယ္ၾကာေသာ္
မ။........... ။ ေမာင္ေရ မကို ေပြ႔ပါအုန္း
ေမာင္။..... ။ ေျခေထာက္က်ဳိးေနျပီလား?
(ဃ)
တစ္ေန႔မွာ ေမာင္က
"မ ဝလာလည္း ခ်စ္မွာပဲ။ ဝဝကစ္ကစ္ မ ခႏၶာကို ေပြ႔ေခၚမယ္။ အသက္အရြယ္ၾကီး အိုမင္းသြားတဲ့အထိ မကုိ အျမဲခ်စ္မယ္။ မကို အျမဲဖက္မယ္" ဟု သစၥာဆိုသည္။
ႏွစ္အနည္းငယ္ ၾကာေသာ္
မ။.......... ။ ေမာင္ မကိုေပြ႔ပါအုန္း
ေမာင္။.....။ ဒီခႏၶာကိုယ္နဲ႔ ငါ့ ခါးက်ဳိးေအာင္ လုပ္ေနတာလား?
(၂)
မ။............ ။ ေမာင္ေရ.. မ အလွျပင္ျပီးျပီ၊ သြားရေအာင္
ေမာင္။......။။ ေနပါအုန္း.. ငါ မုတ္ဆိတ္ရိတ္ေနေသးတယ္။
မ။............။ မုတ္ဆိတ္ရိတ္တာ ဒီေလာက္ၾကာသလား? မ ေတာင္ ျပင္ျပီးေနျပီ..
ေမာင္။......။ နင္အလွျပင္တာကို ေစာင့္ရင္း ရိတ္ျပီးသား ငါ့မုတ္ဆိတ္ေတြ ထပ္ရွည္လာလို႔ ေနာက္တစ္ေခါက္ ထပ္ရိတ္ေနတာ။
If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a New Style.
If a driver makes a mistake,
It is a New Path.
If a engineer makes a mistake,
It is a New Venture.
If parents makes a mistake,
It is a New Generation.
If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a New Law.
If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a New Invention.
If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a New Fashion.
If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a New Theory.
If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a New Idea.
If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a 'Mistake'
1) BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL: 
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE: 
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
4) AT ATM MACHINE: 
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr.. Bean: four asterisks (****)!
5) Marriage: 
Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.
6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND: 
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER: 
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!
8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too....I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
9) Spelling lesson: 
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!
၁။ လူေတြဟာ အေၾကာင္းဆင္ျခင္ဥဏ္လည္းမရွိ
တကိုယ္ေကာင္းလည္ ဆန္လွတယ္
မည္သို႕ပင္ျဖစ္ေစ ေစတနာထား နာလည္းေပးလိုက္ပါ ။
၂။ လူေတြဟာ ေကာင္းေသာအမွု သင္မည္မွ်ျပဳေသာ္လည္း
မရိုးမသား ကိုယ္က်ိဳးစီးပြား အတြက္ပါလ႔ို စြပ္စြဲၾကလိမ့္ဦးမည္
မည္သို႕ပင္ျဖစ္ေစ ေကာင္းေသာအမွုကို ျပဳျမဲသာျပဳပါ ။
၃။ သင္ေအာင္ျမင္ျပီဆိုလွွ်င္ သင့္မွာ မိတ္ေဆြအတုအေယာင္မ်ားေရာ
ရန္သူစစ္စစ္မ်ားပါ ရရွိလာလိမ့္မည္
မည္သို႕ပင္ျဖစ္ေစ ေအာင္ျမင္ရန္သာအားထုတ္ပါ ။
၄။ ရိုးေျဖာင့္ ပြင့္လင္းစြာ စကားဆိုုျခင္းတို႕ေၾကာင့္
သင့္မွာ ထိခိုက္စရာေတြ ၾကံဳခ်င္ၾကံဳရလိမ့္မယ္
မည္သို႕ပင္ျဖစ္ေစ ရိုးသာစြာသာ ေျပာဆိုဆက္ဆံပါ ။
၅။ သင္ယေန႔ျပဳသည့္ ေကာင္းေသာအမွုကို
မနက္ျဖန္ သူတို႔ေမ့ေကာင္း ေမ့သြားပါလိမ့္မယ္
မည္သို႕ပင္ျဖစ္ေစ ေကာင္းေသာအမွဳကိုျပဳျမဲျပဳပါ ။
၆။ လူေတြ ဟာ နိမ့္ပါးသူ ကိုယ္ေအာက္လူမ်ားကို
ေစတနာပိုတတ္တယ္ ဆိုေသာ္လည္း လက္ေတြ႔မွာ အေပၚစီး
ရသူ ထိပ္ဆံုးလူမ်ားေနာက္သို႔သာလိုက္ေနတတ္ ပါတယ္
မည္သို႕ပင္ျဖစ္ေစ နိမ့္ပါးသူ ေအာက္လူတို႕အတြက္ ရပ္တည္ေပး
တိုက္ပြဲ၀င္ေပးပါ ။
၇။ ႏွစ္ေပါင္းမ်ားစြာ သင္တည္ေဆာက္ခ့ဲေသာအရာသည္
ေန႔ခ်င္းညခ်င္း ျဖိဳလွဲဖ်တ္ဆီးျခင္း ခံခ်င္ခံရလိမ့္မည္
မည္သို႕ပင္ျဖစ္ေစ တည္ေဆာက္စရာရွိတာ ဆက္လက္တည္ေဆာက္ပါ ။
၈။ ေလာကအတြက္အေကာင္းဆံုးကို သင္ေပးလ်က္လည္း
သင့္ကို ခါးသည္းနာက်ည္းဖြယ္ တံု႔ျပန္ေကာင္း တံု႔ျပန္လိမ့္မယ္
မည္သို႕ပင္ျဖစ္ေစ သင့္မွာရွိသည့္ အေကာင္းဆံုးကိုသာေပးျမဲ တိုင္းေပးပါ ။
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